I hate all Florida people

This is what I just did while Kris from Key West was playing with his soccer balls on the beach and Patriotsy2k was swimming at a retirement village in Boca:

Got out of work at 7. Couldn't open my door because it was frozen shut. After about five minutes of trying, I got the passenger door open. Crawled to the driver's seat, started the car, and crawled back out of the passenger door. Scraped my car for about ten minutes and I was ready to go home for my usual 20 minute commute.

By the way, here's the weather I'm dealing with. If you don't want to follow the link. It was about 40 degrees and pouring all mourning. The temperature dropped about 30 degrees so all the rain water turned to ice, and now on top of that ice there's about four inches of snow. Are you Florida people jealous yet?

As a kid, I hated the fact that my town was so good at plowing. Snow cancellations were rare. So I got a little worried when my car wouldn't stop fish-tailing on my old town's busiest road. As I'm going down the main road, I needed to make a decision: backroads or the highway.

The fun thing about highways in snow storms is that there's no lanes. Usually the road is better, however, because of volume and frequent salting and plowing. The fun thing about backroads are the narrow New England roads, unplowed roads, steep hills, and sharp turns. I guess the one benefit is there's not as much traffic on the backroads.

I chose the highway. It wasn't plowed well. Nothing beats the feeling of your car slipping from side to side uncontrollably as there are Mack Trucks on either side of you.

So I'm speeding uncontrollably along the highway at ten miles per hour in the right lane and I notice a couple jerks in SUV's pass by me in the breakdown lane. Later, car after car after car is passing me on the right. That's when I noticed I was in the second lane. Not sure how I got there. For the rest of the trip, without my knowledge, I had switched from the right lane, to the second lane, to the middle lane, and sometimes in between lanes. Such fun.

An hour later I'm off the highway. Only one mile to go! First there was the challenge of stopping at a red light. Have you Florida people ever struggled to bring your car from ten miles per hour to zero on a bed of snow covered ice?

Now for the windy road. Visibility -- just about zero, high beams or no high beams. Maybe that had something to do with it snowing sideways. Also the roads weren't really plowed so there was no way of telling the difference between pavement and someone's front lawn. So I used my pathetic memory to remember the curves and turns of the road until I made it to the unplowed parking lot.

Luckily, this story has a happy ending. I made it home safe. Actually it wasn't that happy because my door was frozen shut. So now I'm inside with a few shots of Vodka so if my posts make less sense than usual, you'll know what to blame.

As a punishment to you Florida people who are fretting over what type of sun block to buy, I'm going to subject you to a long post about BC basketball. By the way I think I just saw lightening and heard thunder.

Brought to you by the Massachusetts Chamber of Commerce.