Guest writer Bryan and Kris from Key West are fighting like English soccer hooligans!

I know where the confusion is setting in. Apparently our friend from Key West is imagining that I am writing things. He must think that of Alan as well. I laughed at the picture of the guy getting kicked in the nuts, ya wanna know why? Because people getting hit in the nuts is funny. NFL Films did a whole segment on football players getting hit in the nuts, with the reaction of players, coaches, and commentators. You know why that was hilarious? Because it was football players getting hit in the nuts. That's funny, in any situation during any sport, hell, it doesn't even have to be a sport. People getting hit in the nuts is funny.

I respect soccer players, for one fundamental reason. I do not have the lung capacity that they must have to run up and down for ninety minutes. Do I think they are bad athletes? Well I think endurance is a key to athleticism, so for them to do that for ninety minutes they must have some endurance.

I also do not think that all soccer players are communists. I believe countries such as Sweden, Norway, Afghanistan (during the Taliban and now post-Taliban), and Iran have soccer teams. So throw in Socialists, Fundamentalists, and Theocrats as well.

Here is my problem with soccer. You can not find someone who does not think that everyone is against soccer, such as our friend from Key West. I work with a guy who set up a club soccer team at school, he goes nuts when I joke that soccer is nothing more than a Euro-trash sport. Soccer is boring, that's another problem I have with it. I love defense, I like pitchers duels, I like good goalie (hockey goalie that is), and I love low scoring. Thing about it is, I can't expect low scores all the time in Football, Hockey, Baseball, and Basketball. But I do expect to always see a 1-1 game that is decided in a shootout.

As far as Freddie Adu goes, I think my point that he is 15 and has a contract with a major league 'sport.' Isn't Freddie Adu the same kid who said that he wanted a smaller contract with the MLS because he wanted to help soccer catch on in the United States? How is that working for you?

I'm sorry if I choose not to watch Argentina versus Chile. I am sure that is a real clash of the soccer titans, but I'm fine with not watching it. I'm also not sure what exactly is high school and amateurish about a funny picture. But I do think it is high school and amateurish to use the word 'fuck' a lot to voice your opinion about the lack of soccer coverage.

As I can recall, Alan was looking for someone to write about college football. I love college football, much like all sports, and I do know some things about college football so here I am. If there are so many soccer stories out there, then write about it. Email bartcopsportseast@yahoo.com. But don't get pissy because you can't take a funny picture. One other thing, what bullshit will exactly be fucked?