Eastern Conference Predictions

This conference is the Pistons and everyone else. I struggled to find 8 teams that would make the playoffs.

ATLANTA HAWKS - If Atlanta had any fans, they’d be yelling at Antoine Walker to stop shooting. I don’t miss him. Al Harrington and Walker will hate each other by the second quarter of game one. (No chance of playoffs)


BOSTON CELTICS - I hope they really do start running and stop standing around shooting threes. Fans will soon decide if Paul Pierce is a star or disappointment. I’m afraid he may become Boston’s next Drew Bledsoe. There’s a chance that a breakout year could come out of Ricky Davis, Jiri Welsch or one of their three draft picks. Gary Payton’s a mystery. (Lose early in the playoffs)

CHARLOTTE BOBCATS - Charlotte does not deserve another franchise. Should MLB give Montreal another chance in 2 years. Name another Bobcat besides Okafor. (No chance of playoffs, poor attendance by year three)


CHICAGO BULLS - Jerry Krause rushed Jordan and Pippen out of town because he didn’t want to repeat the alleged Celtics’ mistake of holding the Big Three for too long. However, all he had to do to avoid the mistakes of the Celtics was to prevent two young superstars from dying. Getting upset, think Red Sox World Series, Red Sox World Series... there, much better. Anyway, their draft seemed good, but I’d love to see another Duke player fail in the NBA. (Barely misses the playoffs)

CLEVELAND CAVALIERS - I’m wondering when I’ll be sick of LeBron James. Surprisingly it has happened yet. James will be a playoff star, but not with any of his current teammates. (First Round loss in the playoffs, GM and coach will be fired)


DETROIT PISTONS - The only reason I can see the Pistons not getting back to the Finals is players tiring of Larry Brown. They're basically the same team as last year with a better bench. (Loses in Finals)


INDIANA PACERS - There’s something I don’t like about this team. Maybe it’s the point guard and weaker bench, or it could be the sight of Reggie Miller flopping. Still, Rick Carlisle can coach and Larry Bird’s involved (Playoffs)


MIAMI HEAT - A motivated Shaq could dominate, but he’s been fat for so long that there’s still a good chance his body could break down. Think of the people who have joined a gym after five years of sitting on the couch. It isn’t pretty. Another concern: Miami had an exciting mix of players and played great basketball during the playoffs. A drastic change could take away that magic. That being said, the NBA wants Shaq to do well and Dwyane Wade’s special. (Playoffs)

MILWAUKEE BUCKS - Michael Redd and nothing else. (No playoffs)


NEW JERSEY NETS - I hope Jason Kidd gets traded West; he kills the Celtics. I know he’s hurt but I’m bad at following injuries. Maybe someone can start Bartcop MD. I wish Eric Williams would be traded to a contender. He’s just a role player, but he does everything right. (No playoffs)

NEW YORK KNICKS - This roster just doesn’t make sense. Does Isiah listen to Sports Radio, hear a crazy trade idea, and say to himself, “why not?” If he doesn’t, he might want to give that a shot because this team looks like a mess. (No playoffs)


ORLANDO MAGIC - This could be a fun team. Francis could turn into Iverson. All I know about Dwight Howard is he was the number one pick in the draft so that should mean something. Should I bother writing about Grant Hill? (Playoffs. Initially I said no playoffs but then I realized I only chose seven Eastern teams. So it was them or the Knicks and I hate the Knicks.)


PHILADELPHIA 76ERS - I’ve seen plenty of Jim O’Brien, but I’m still not sure how I rate him as a coach. Positives: players love him and play hard for him, his teams play defense, and his grouchy regular guy press conferences will play well with Sixer fans. Negatives: Developed the worst offensive system in the history of basketball and although his defense causes turnover and bad shots, it leaves his team vulnerable to offensive rebounds. (Playoffs)


TORONTO RAPTORS - Who isn’t sick of Vince Carter? He has a UNC Diploma, but he must have hung out at Duke a lot. I always thought Jalen Rose would be a much better player. (No playoffs)


WASHINGTON WIZARDS - Antawn Jamison could have a breakout year. He and Gilbert Arenas could be a good enough tandem to lead them to the playoffs. (Playoffs, did I really write that?)