My imaginary conversation with Jeremy Roenick

(All Roenick quotes taken from a story about his hissy fit at a Mario Lemieux charity golf event.)

J.R. "...Pro athletes are not cocky. Pro athletes care about the game. Everybody out there who calls us spoiled because we play a game, they can kiss my a--."

Me: I didn't say you were cocky. I said you're stupid. You lost a year of getting paid too much, worked with the owners to ruin the NHL, and alienated your small shrinking fan base. And what did you get in return?

J.R. "...I will say personally, to everybody who calls us spoiled, you guys are just jealous"

Me: Wrong you cocky bastard. Hockey's too rough a sport for me, and I enjoy having teeth. You want to talk about an athlete I'm jealous of? How about a lefty bullpen specialist? They get all the perks of a major league baseball player, and all they have to do is face one or two batters every few days. Now that's a living.

J.R. "...We're trying to get this thing back on the ice and make it better for the fans."

Me: I didn't know all this was just for the fans. So money had nothing to do with it? I can't wait to see those lower ticket prices.

J.R. "...If you don't realize that, then don't come. We don't want you in the rink..."

Me: Don't worry about that. I'm a very poor skater.

J.R. "...we don't want you in the stadium, we don't want you to watch hockey."

Me: Don't need to worry about that either; I haven't watched hockey in over a year. And even if the NHL does come back, I'll be more likely to watch college hockey which is ten times more exciting than your game.

J.R. "...We've hurt our league, we've hurt the reputation of our league and the integrity of our league by sticking up for something that might not have been the right thing to do.''

Me: Well said.