Sunday, June 19, 2005

Still Champ!

Last Thanksgiving Patriotsy2k thought he was about to end the Godfather's dynasty in the sport of Speed Yard Drinking. With just a few sips to go, Patsy2k might have gotten a little too confident as the Godfather made a last second comeback. The night ended with a teary eyed Patsy2k vowing for revenge.

Off he went to Florida to train, promising victory and hinting about a secret weapon.

And on the same night that Mike Tyson promised a triumphant return, Patsy2k boldly walked into the bar with his secret weapon, younger brother (Patriotsy3k). The Godfather was modest, saying he didn't think he was up for a battle and claiming he just wanted to enjoy his drink.

The drinks were brought to the table and the starter's pistol had been shot. Patsy2k and his brother got off to a quick aggressive start -- Patriotsy2k looked rejuvenated like he was back in his fraternity guzzling Natty Lite. Patsy3k was impressive too, being the Annakin to Patsy2k's Ben Kenobi.

As Pats2&3k were chugging along, the Godfather had not taken one sip! Was he intimidated by the secret weapon? Was he tanking the match because he bet against himself in Vegas? Considering retiring? Or was the veteran playing mind games with his competition?

Actually he was talking to me about the Jets. After discussing whether or not the Jets would miss Santana Moss, he took his first sip. He then continued his discussion about the Jets as he took a few more leisurely gulps. The crowd was enthralled by the Patsbrothers battle and ignoring the Godfather, who they already dismissed as a champ who declined too quickly.

Patsy2k was starting to think about his victory speech as he could see his brother fading (and spilling about 20 ounces on his shirt). The crowd was awed by the quick pace of Patriotsy2k and ignored the Godfather as he kept on talking about the Jets.

Then I learned why the Godfather is called the champ. After telling me that the Richard Seymour holdout is the beginning of the end for the Patriots, he asked me if he should tell his competitors about his quiet progress. The Godfather was almost done with his drink!

While Patriotsy2k was racing through his beer like an excited poodle, the Godfather was a graceful cheetah, whose long relaxed strides easily sped by the poor little rapid strides of Poodley2k. As the Godfather took his last few swigs the crowd noticed his accomplishment as he finished off the drink -- Patsy2k still with a quarter to go and poor Patsy3k not knowing whether to drink or wear his beer.

At first, Patriotsy2k in disbelief looked for signs of foul play. Surely there was a drain near the Godfather's drink. Then, Patriotsy2k became graceful in defeat, admitting that the better team won. Just as there was no shame in losing to the 86 Celtics, there is no shame to losing to the Godfather.

The Godfather continued to be a modest champ and Patriotsy2k continued to be a worthy competitor. He talked of how he will overcome the Godfather as the Red Sox eventually overcame the Yankees. He also asked me to wait a week before posting this story so he would have time to come up with a good excuse for losing.

11 comments:

The Godfather said...

Poodley2k. That was amusing.
So what does everyone else think of Santana Moss?

Patriotsy2k said...

1st of all- Godfather is starting to sound like Bryan...full of Patriots envy. I guess we'll see what happens this football season.
2nd of all - I had less than a quarter to go.
3rd - next time I will win
4th - I represented the next day with the keg....although I fell a few sips short in the racing contest with Gene.

The Godfather said...

First, patriots enny? I think Poodley2k is looking for a defense mechanism.
Second, I finished the yard in 4, mayube 5 minutes. Regardless of how much was left, after I was done, it took at least 20 minutes more for you to finish.
Third, maybe you will win next time or maybe you will not, but I have won every time.
Fourth, I also represented at the keg. When you say you feel a few steps short, you should specify that you were unable to actually finish your beer in a chugging contest. After I returned from finishing off the keg, I went for a 5 mile run.

Patriotsy2k said...

When I lost at Sunset, I just took my time finishing cause at that point there was no rush. The next day was the same thing. If I wanted to finish, or if I was winnng, that beer would have been consumed.
Your 5 mile run is starting to sound like your Framingham running dream.

The Godfather said...

that is why you lost. you were racing. I was drinking.

never said anything about dreaming of running. another misquote. get the facts straight.

The Godfather said...

that is why you lost. you were racing. I was drinking.

never said anything about dreaming of running. another misquote. get the facts straight.

Patriotsy2k said...

You are wrong. You said "I could run 5 miles in my sleep". Ask Alan the Bartcop.

The Godfather said...

sleep ( P ) Pronunciation Key (slp)
n.

A natural periodic state of rest for the mind and body, in which the eyes usually close and consciousness is completely or partially lost, so that there is a decrease in bodily movement and responsiveness to external stimuli. During sleep the brain in humans and other mammals undergoes a characteristic cycle of brain-wave activity that includes intervals of dreaming.
A period of this form of rest.
A state of inactivity resembling or suggesting sleep; unconsciousness, dormancy, hibernation, or death.

dream ( P ) Pronunciation Key (drm)
n.
A series of images, ideas, emotions, and sensations occurring involuntarily in the mind during certain stages of sleep.
A daydream; a reverie.
A state of abstraction; a trance.
A wild fancy or hope.
A condition or achievement that is longed for; an aspiration: a dream of owning their own business.
One that is exceptionally gratifying, excellent, or beautiful: Our new car runs like a dream.

I rest my case.

Patriotsy2k said...

Sleep, dream, whatever. You didnt run 5 miles on Sunday night. Stop trying to act like a big shot. I give you credit for the race, but lets not get carried away with yourself. I at least challenged big Gene on Sunday, while you guys didnt have the balls to compete.

The Godfather said...

ok, I see how it is. Poodley2whine needs to feel like he is right. OK. I did not run 5 miles on Sunday night. Upon reclaculation, it was only 4.93 miles. Please accept my utmost, sincere apologies.

Patriotsy2k said...

Oh please. What time did you get home that night? You ran 4.93 miles on a Sunday night, after drinking that day? Your stories are starting to sound like Kris from Key West.