In honor of Andy Stokes

Here's a link to a topic completely irreleveent to anything happening now: The Anti-Duke Manifesto.

It's a really long read, but it perfectly explains why I hate Duke basketball. Here's the outline with some highlights
:
I. The Duke Perona ...[Scott] Williams suffered the worst imaginable tragedy when he lost both his parents in a murder-suicide shooting. Several of the good-natured, creative Dukies responded at the next Duke-UNC game with clever shouts of “Orphan, Orphan!” as Williams was introduced...

II. Coach K ...Krzyzewski did what he has always done: chose to remain at his cherished college post, fully aware that he, like the overwhelming majority of his players, would enjoy zero success at the next level...

III. Media Bias ...Duke, in a home game against Georgia Tech, runs its lead to 44 points with under a minute to play, due largely to three point shooting that continued long after the game had passed the point of gratuitous humiliation. Finally, as the clock went under thirty seconds, Duke graciously holds the ball for its final possession in lieu of a final field goal attempt. Mike Patrick, in his annoyingly dogmatic tone of voice, shouts, “Doesn’t that just show what a classy guy Mike Krzyzewski is? He doesn’t want to embarrass anybody.”...

IV. Bias of Game Officials ...During the mid-1980’s, an ACC coach anonymously explained Duke’s defensive philosophy as follows: all five defensive players foul all five opposing offensive players at the same time, leaving officials too confused and stunned to respond...

A. The Duke Flop ...Year after year, legendary athletes, from Jordan to Bias to Duncan to Carter, are unfairly handicapped by the spectrum of inferior Duke players jumping into their paths and flopping backwards, even if contact is avoided. Indeed, it is not unusual for slow-motion replays to show Duke defenders beginning their staged falls, before, occasionally in the total absence of, actual contact. Much to the chagrin of flop-leader Shane Battier, it was because of this infuriating nonsense that the NBA actually amended its rules to prohibit offensive fouls from being called as the result of charges within five feet of the basket...

B. Bastardizing Effects of Pro-Duke officiating ...How many of the all time Duke basketball greats promptly proceeded to fizzle at the next level where game rules are actually enforced in an unbiased manner and where defenders must actually defend their opponents? Mark Alarie, Johnny Dawkins, David Henderson, Billy King, Robert Brickey, Phil Henderson,
Kevin Strickland, Danny Ferry, Alaa Abdelnaby, Brian Davis, Antonio Lang, Cherokee Parks, William Avery, Shane Battier, Dahntay Jones, Chris Carawell, Mike Dunleavy – the list is seemingly endless. Past Duke rosters read like a “Who’s Who?” of professional basketball jokes, most of whom are quickly shipped out to European leagues because of their inability to make it in the NBA...

V. The Fans ...The Duke fan honestly believes that Mike Krzyzewski is handsome and marvels at his ability to coach ACC basketball for a quarter of a century without sprouting a single grey hair...

VI. The Players ...He [Dahntay Jones] regularly resorts to dangerous, flagrant fouls, the majority of which are somehow never called. You may, for example, recall Dahntay himself striking Raymond Felton with a vicious elbow to the face during Felton’s freshman year. No foul was called, (but the referees did order Felton out of the game until his bleeding was stopped.) This “accidental” contact, incidentally, occurred almost a year after Jones broke the jaw of Wake Forest forward Justin Gray....

VII. The Place is Phony ...Additional efforts were taken to cause the twentieth century buildings to appear much older than they are, our guide explained. For example, acid was placed on the stairs in order to cause them to have a time worn appearance...

VIII. Obstinate Refusal to Accept/Act Upon Constructive Criticism ...Last but far from least, we loathe Duke University because its arrogance prohibits it from recognizing and correcting its most serious deficiencies. What other explanation can there be for the fact that Duke has still, without a doubt, the absolute, number one, undisputed, UGLIEST cheerleaders in the ACC?