Tuesday, November 29, 2005

This one's real

My fake e-mail must have been inspiring because I just got this from Sano in Sunny California. She got my name wrong (Bart does politics and tequila; Alan does sports and Zima), but it's a good spirited letter.

Dearest Bart:
I've gotta get this off my chest, so bear with me:
Well, today was the deadline for Pete Rose to have been nominated for the Hall of Fame and it looks like it isn't going to happen. (No surprise since that handjob, Fay Vincent, is the chairman of the HOF Screening Committee).
The question still remains: SHOULD Pete Rose be in? I say yes!!! As a lifelong baseball fan I can say without hesitation that Pete Rose never cheated ME on the field. His record on the field as a player is undisputed--and if you can find anyone who wants to argue that point with me, well, you'd better be prepared for a good redass on this one.
Should he have bet on baseball while still a member of MLB in a managerial position? Absolutely not; I think we can all agree that was a pretty dumb thing to do.
But should such a record-holder and MLB legend never receive acknowledgment for his historic and mesmerizing play in the greatest game on earth? If you are one who believes Pete Rose deserves to be excluded from the HOF, these questions of equal proportion should be pursued and answered honestly: Should Mark McGwire's legendary successful pursuit of breaking Roger Maris's record be stricken because McGwire's a juicer? (Particularly since the McGwire/Sosa race to break the 61 record gave a huge shot of adrenaline into the arm of what was a sinking MLB)
What about Sammy Sosa? Should he be allowed into the HOF after getting caught with a corked bat, all the while lying about it on ESPN? How was Darryl Strawberry allowed to stay in the game after being arrested myriad times for illegal narcotics? What about Steve Garvey, arrested for beating his wife Cindy into near-Nicole Brown-Simpson proportions? What exactly do Handjob Vincent and BiggerHandjob Selig consider cheating? To what degree is cheating ok?
This is ALL made more complicated by the well-publicized convo where Selig tells Rose, "if you admit to what you did, I'll lift the lifetime ban," ONLY for Rose to find out after his literary mea culpa, that Major League Asshole Selig would demonstrate that he never had any intention of doing so during the 5 to 20 year timespan following retirement, during which Rose would've been eligible. MLBAsshole's new decision is "I'll revisit that after 2006." What a crock of horseshit.
Trust me, I've heard every argument on this issue and I happen to be married to a man who doesn't think Rose belongs in the Hall of Fame. As usual, he's wrong, and I'm right :)
Just some food for thought
Sano in Sunny CA

1 comment:

Patriotsy2k said...

Alan, is this a true email by someone, or did you copy this out of an editorial? It is well written, despite the profanity and references to hand-jobs, and makes sense.
Please be honest with us, your loyal fan base and audience.